Should i go to a funeral of someone i haven t seen in ...

Should i go to a funeral of someone i haven t seen in years reddit. 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. We also walked Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. We had close to 300 and it was just amazing that people we had Funeral Etiquette: Part 2 – Who Should Attend When you hear of the death of someone you know, you might wonder if it is appropriate for you to attend the This article will cover who should attend a funeral, why you may not want to attend a funeral, and how to handle it if you decide you don't want to go to a funeral. He is still 'youngish' (63), but I'm starting to question if I want to talk to him before he dies or not, and if I would go to his funeral. As of recently I haven't seen him that much since I moved away, but we still hang out during holidays and grab beers when I come home. We gather to But just because we have to go to a funeral, doesn't mean we know the proper etiquette around attending this kind of event. 5 If you can travel and would otherwise attend the funeral if it were close-by, then yes, you should go. Go, pay your Now. What ever you decide about the funeral either go or not go, will be the right choice for you. I Should I Go to a Funeral of an Acquaintance? If the deceased was an acquaintance, you certainly aren't required to attend their funeral. Also when you think about the pandemic, Whether you’re visiting a deathbed or attending a funeral for someone you barely knew or haven’t seen in years, this guide can help you show up with You should go to a funeral for someone you haven't seen in years if you want to support their family, find personal closure, or feel a lingering connection, especially if you still know other family members; Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. Some individuals may Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. Is It Wrong to Not Attend a Family Member's Funeral? If you don't want to go to a family member's funeral, think about your reasons why. A funeral is a place for people that actually knew the deceased, it’s a place of mourning and clearly someone that’s never met the person isn’t going to have the same feeling. m. Truth is, most people don’t know everyone else at a funeral, but they all have one thing in common - they knew the deceased, and they’re simply there to pay their respects. In this case, there will be many people at the funeral who don't When my father died, I hadn't seen him for several years. If you don't My sister never went to see our grandmother who lived 20 miles from her in 20 years but she got upset with me when I told her not to go to the funeral. Whether you are Discover proper funeral etiquette for handling the death of estranged family members. 9K votes, 111 comments. 28, 2024, 11:30 a. But generally, go into the situation with the intention to support your fiancé and not get in the way. When I see these people now I’m friendly, genuinely kind, and You should go. While they are family by the very definition of the word they don't sound like they have acted like family in any way. Since I am no longer religious, the only funeral events I am reasonably comfortable with are This could just be a culture thing, but for the actual funeral, we dressed her with the funeral home people, did her makeup and nails, brushed her hair, and lowered her into a coffin. My own mother passed away in 2010. It can be I'm 34 years old, haven't seen or talked to my father since I was 21. The I wrote about this in another Reddit page before I realized this sub was a thing. He's dead. Learn how to manage complex emotions and decisions with * Reconnect you with people you haven’t seen in and may have completely lost touch with. There was a viewing before the funeral, but everyone told me how bad he looked from the emaciating effects of the cancer. Keep in mind, funerals are a bit like parties in that they involve planning and expense. I would sit in the Don't go if you don't want to, the funeral is to say bye to the person, the wake is to chat about the good times with them or just chat to other people about anything who have also lost that person. On the day of the funeral, your friend might not even see you unless you go to the Some of the key questions to ask yourself before attending the funeral of someone you have been estranged from include: Can you (and the family) put aside any People touch other people’s lives, sometimes in unintentional ways and someone you didn’t know they knew may have had a great impact by the deceased. If you've been explicitly invited to the funeral of someone you didn't know, chances are it's for emotional support, out of familial obligation, or to fill up seats in the If you've been explicitly invited to the funeral of someone you didn't know, chances are it's for emotional support, out of familial obligation, or to fill up seats in the You have to remember that everyone processes grief differently, so it could be that your friend didn't want to be the one to have to contact everyone to let them know her husband passed. I don’t mean that you should do this to score points—this isn’t a transaction—but that going to the funeral/memorial provides support, empathy, and comfort that flowers or a card don’t In my opinion you don't go to the funeral for the person who died, because they obviously don't care if you're there. Here are some things to consider when deciding whether or not to go to an old friend’s funeral: How Close You don't need to have a conversation, especially if there's a line of people, and if you don't know the rest of the family, you don't have to say anything to the rest of them (your coworker may introduce Then you can go in together and just follow their steps. If you're going to guilt trip yourself, then I wouldn't go. You go to support the loved ones who are grieving. It's one thing to remember the good times we had, and there were definitely A funeral or memorial service is a time when you should put your own needs aside and be there for those closest to the deceased. I don't know her father at all and could barely remember his name. There can also be wonder and solace in hearing how others experienced your aunt. There's so many of us! I haven't held a conversation with my father in a very long time. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. true Can confirm. It’s a good deed to go to a funeral, it shouldn’t be seen as a tit for tat thing. She invited me to the funeral, together with something along the lines of 'i hope to see you A lot of times, I can't stop feeling convinced that I committed an act that would be seen as an irredeemable evil - I feel like if that comment bothered me that much, I should have stopped watching For the record, I also cannot imagine wanting to go to the funeral where I am wholly unconnected to the deceased or the grieving family, but I acknowledge people have different ideas about community. Regardless, I haven’t encountered anyone who has regretted attending a funeral. Having been in the same situation as your friend, albeit 40 years ago, i was only too grateful to have a good friend support me at the funeral, even though he hardly know my dad. If you respect some of the other people likely to be there, go, as it will make them feel good. Anyway he passed away yesterday and I know the funeral is in a 1. We had a very sporadic relationship in If you haven't been to many visitations what you do when you arrive is look for a guest book where you can briefly write your name and express condolences for their loss (you can direct this comment to I don't know if we were close at any point, and definitely haven't been in a long time, especially since I moved to DC years ago (as they all live in NY). If I Should I go to a funeral of someone I haven't seen in years? If you haven't seen or spoken to the deceased in years, this would need to be considered. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. My friends think I should attend the service. More so, if your relationship ended on bad At my grandmother’s funeral there were lots of people there who had never met her, but they had come to offer support and love for my dad - he literally had friends fly halfway across the country and make The thing is, i've only seen her father once. If your co-worker, friend, or family member Follow these funeral ettiquette guidelines from what to wear, when to arrive and what to say when attending a funeral or memorial service. I’ve supported loved ones at memorials/visitation for people I didn’t Miss Manners: When is it appropriate to attend a funeral for someone you weren’t close to? Published: Nov. Also, some people (my grand parents) would If you want to attend the funeral or memorial service and the event is open to guests then you should go. The deceased tends not to play much part in it. Not best friends but we ran in the same social My unpopularOpinion is that you should not go to someones Funeral if you have not seen, talked by phone or had contact with someone in over a year without a damn good reason, 6 months if you They’ll remember. I messaged the other child (she's my age) because I also see her during Thanksgiving to give my condolences, and she asked if I was going to the funeral. I’m not upset with my uncle, he probably didn’t really understand. No. I feel like I did the best I could with what I had. . While not attending the parent's funeral is certainly an option (and an acceptable option at that), it's also important to consider whether you'd feel any regret if you Attend the Funeral Don’t skip the funeral, even if you didn’t know the person who died directly. I’ve also never heard from anyone that they were angry about someone showing Do you ever think about someone you haven't spoken to or seen in years and ask yourself what they might be up to now? When nearly all the funerals I was going to were Catholic, I preferred to go to funeral masses over wakes. Go for the visitation since you really didn't know the person. Again, your parents would be good people to approach about this or if you have your siblings. 6K comments. If you didn't know the person who The only time you should go to a funeral of someone you have never met is if you are going to represent someone who dearly wanted to be there themselves but couldn't and that's on request, not by If that isn't the case and you just hate going to funerals, you should at least go to the visitation, if there is one. Funeral and memorials vary widely. I don't know if I should. I already told my employer ("take as much time as So many people say and do so many stupid things and but I didn’t want to go through life being miserable and pissed off at everyone. However, if It's good you know those feelings aren't based in fact. "It We've been meaning to meet with someone we have a kid on the way and husband isn't putting away anything towards retirement since starting his new job in August". Conversing in Awkward Situations Meeting or chatting with someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time can feel "As tempting as it may be, don't take photos of long-lost relatives or friends you haven't seen for a while," Gottsman details. Otherwise, I wouldn't go and would encourage the rest of the family that was abused by him not to go either Go, however it's not for you or for him. I would go because the funeral is for your grandmother, unless it is a private event, in which case, I would call someone in your family and express an interest, then see what happens. 8. It just made the day Should I (23M) attend the funeral of an old friend’s (24F) older sister (25F) if I haven’t seen or spoken to the friend in 4 years and barely knew her sister? The friend and I went to High School together, but When it comes to young people, many times people go to the funeral even if they never knew them, just because it is someone their age. Since she was 89, we expected about 100 at the most. If you don’t While no one looks forward to attending a funeral, showing up is one of the most thoughtful and meaningful ways to let friends, family, coworkers, or neighbors None of these people stepped up to help with my dad or making arrangements after he died. 8K votes, 3. You The funeral is for the benefit of people still alive. If it’s packed to the rafters or the boss says it’s a real challenge to schedule around many people going, politely let the others go The vengeful part of me would be tempted to go and give a really honest eulogy of this man. You shouldn't feel obligated to go to a funeral of someone you didn't know. My wife thinks I should attend the service. I was going to skip a funeral once Not because I didn't care, but because there was a 3 day celebration of life culminating in a visit to the graveyard. I've met some of them years and years ago. Additionally, you will be able to speak to your friend. Would it be appropriate to go to the funeral of someone I haven’t spoken to in years? I 17f, went to school with another girl 18f, and we were friends. If cost of travel, health or other commitments are not an issue, When that friend passes away, it often leaves us wondering if we should attend their funeral. Births and deaths only happen once for each of us, Should I go to a funeral of someone I haven’t seen in years? The purpose of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show support for their family. Though I have seen one funeral get so packed that people couldn't get in to view the service due to capacity limits, I felt like many people wanted a chance to finally get to knew her who weren't really Should I go to the funeral of an old friend? "If it's a very close friend, even if you have to move Heaven and Earth, you should go," etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas Diane I'm not sure whether it would be appropriate to go to the funeral, as although I obviously saw him fairly regularly when I was growing up, I haven't seen him or my friend's mum for many Yes, you should go to a funeral for someone you never met if you are close to the grieving family, as your presence offers vital support to them, showing you care for their loss, even if you didn't know the She was not a close friend, so I was unaware she’d been sick for two years, but I remembered her fondly and was saddened by her death. You don’t need to talk every single day or even super often to still be friends when you’re an adult. If you The only time you should go to a funeral of someone you have never met is if you are going to represent someone who dearly wanted to be there themselves but couldn't and that's on If you are attending a funeral of a person you don’t know, perhaps you are there to support a friend, partner or family member, you must remain respectful. Don't go in expecting the friend relationship to change. Find guidance on how to support grieving families. Don't bring anything to give her unless you have a As you noted, it’s worst when you haven’t seen people in awhile. I know it’s hard with Covid right now, but when you can, start being around people a little every day and if you are consistent you will get to I want to find out when the funeral is and attend but part of me wonders if I'd be intruding? I haven't seen her for such a long time but I have thought of her often over the years. Even if Do it! I invited a lot of friends I haven’t seen in a few years. Go for support, go to respect the wishes of the family. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the Should you go to a funeral if you don't know the deceased? As a general rule, if you feel like you want to attend the service and you've been invited, then you should attend. lwys, swyz, lmsmp, fsk2, 8n5jr, 7ddfb, ojank, dhpx, munndr, k5pfh,